Terrible Two's

Do you remember the feeling you had the first time someone left you in charge of something really really important?  Like a newborn or large sums of money.  The kind of responsibility that if you screw up you’ll go to jail and you get just a teeny bit jittery because shit this is biiig time.  I felt like that when I was left alone with Squidge.  She was only about 3 days old, my mom had left and Wal was back at work for a couple of hours.  I think it was a panic attack-a teeny one.  I got all jittery and felt like WTF are these people doing leaving me alone with this… this BABY!!  Over the past couple of years I’ve grown more and more confident in my child and my parenting skills.  I think Squidge is great and funny and well behaved.  Did you hear that?  No?  Well that was Murphy laughing his ass off at my arrogance.

Since I arrived at my parents house I have lived with a bad tempered, willful, SCREECHING pain in the ass child.  I swear to all that is good and true in the world she was NOT always like this.  Don’t get me wrong she had her moments but I could usually deal with it.  Now it’s NON FRECKING STOP and I think it’s driving me a bit crazy.  I’m having that same jittery feeling I had when she was a newborn.  Like WTF people, I can’t really do this and why would you even think that I can??  Screeching toddler please shut up and can my great, funny and well behaved child please please pretty please with a cherry on top be returned to me?!!?!  PLEASE (insert rising panic).

I called Wal this evening after returning home from Squidges godparents joint 30th birthday party (Happy Birthday Matt and Maryann).  I called him sobbing because I just had the worst day and felt like I didn’t handle the screaming banshee devil child like a ‘good’ mom should. I shouted at her.  I yelled Nooo put that down, noooo no no nooOOOOOOO NOOOO I said NOO Squidge come here, come heeere coooome heeere!!  OOOOH MY GOD CHILD COME HERE BEFORE I DO SOMETHING WE’LL BOTH REGRET!!(repeat x 10)  All this while feeling like people were looking at me and judging me which you know only makes it worse and I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die!  So I called Wal for a little reassurance and he ended up getting angry with me because well he thinks Squidge is great and well those that judge obviously don’t have kids blah bladdiy blah blah!  Ya, I KNOW that numbnut I just wanted you to tell me to get over myself and that she’s fine and I’m fine and it’s all fine.  He did make me feel better in the end but I had to get through his fatherly indignation first.

I also want to apologize to Sarah(Squidge’s English godmother- yes she has two of them) for waking her up.  Apparently during his fatherly indignation Wal got a bit loud and woke her up.  He’s down in Shropshire visiting them for the weekend.  So again sooo sorry.

On the PT front it’s going well.  In that if your definition of well is repeatedly peeing herself while at the mall then it’s going fanfreakingtastic.  Did you know that a Maclaren stroller can hold water pretty good?  Can you picture it??  Oh yes I had a fun(remember she’s a bundle of fun at the moment) time at the mall.  She did pee in the potty 2 times- after we had her sit on the potty for a loooong time.  Oooh the dancing and clapping that we did.  Then the waving bye bye to the pee as we dumped it in the toilet and flushed it away.  Much much dancing and clapping and happiness.  Then we had the pooping in the pants incident.  Yah like totally loads of fun that was.  Then this afternoon she sat herself down on the potty and PEED!!  By herself on her own without any prompting.  Oooh the dancing and clapping that we did. Then the waving bye bye to the pee as we dumped it in the toilet and flushed it away.  Much much dancing and clapping and happiness.  Granted she did this while wearing her new party dress and her panties still on but hell I’m not complaing cuz she peed in the potty ALL.BY.HERSELF.

I’m off to bed now.  Apparently dealing with a screeching banshee child who’s potty training is exhausting.  Who would have thunk it!  Nighty night.


  1. July 20, 2008 /


    So…you are away from home. You both are tired…potty training is happening…..put that all together and you have a recipe for disaster.
    I feel sorry for you and her…..it is tough. Things will get better, but for now….expect it to suck. Toddlers don’t deal well with messed up routines and such.

    hugs to you!
    oh and sugar daddy….made me giggle. too funny.
    he loves it. He was one of the reasons I kept it long, but now he likes it this way as well. 🙂 thanks for asking.

  2. byrney
    July 20, 2008 /

    She is well behaved and lovely, and you do do a fantastic job of bringing her up…but my guess is you’re both stressed and she can pick up on it! I know when I go to parties etc I think I want C & N to be good cos they are good but the fact I stress about them showing that they are good makes them test me a bit IYKWIM? I then get stressed at the testing…cue worse behaviour..cue me stressed cos they are normally so good and I worry people will think I just lie and they’re not really good…cue tantrums and bad behaviour vicious circle begin!!!!!!!!!
    PT is hard work never mind while trying to go out to parties etc! You have set yourself a hard task. The fact that she took herself to the potty is great, pants off first will come next lol!!
    So don’t worry you’re both fine, just chill ignore the testing and she will revert back to the good squidge I see all the time :-)!!!!!!!

  3. July 20, 2008 /

    just think of all the fun blackmail stories you can tell about her when she begins to date.

    and get some rest!

  4. Vic
    July 20, 2008 /

    Oh goodness! Sounds like she is testing you ALL the time.

    Lindy, you are fantastic with Squidge so don’t let yourself think anything else. Honestly, she is a beautiful, well-behaved little girl and is a pleasure to be with.

    I suspect her bad temper is caused by a combination of the heat, the excitement, the time change, sensing that you are a little tense (aka the vicious circle), and dare I say it. the PTing. Its a lot of new things to deal with when you’re 2 so I reckon she is making you pay! he he.

    I hope, apart from that, you are having a great time.


  5. Wendy
    July 20, 2008 /

    Ditto what everyone has said. Kids are kids. They, like us, have their bad moments. Squidge is in a changed environment and —- considering I know your family :), Squidge is probably experiencing sensory overload/overstimulation 🙂 Try not to worry about what anyone is thinking. It’s normal not be be the “perfect” parent. Yep, we all scream or freak out sometimes (at least I hope we all do) and at one point or another, our kids all manage to make us look like a–holes 🙂

    Look on the bright side, by late next week, I’ll be able to take the Squidgster off your hands if you want a break to relax, get your nails done or just enjoy a little quiet time. However, I can’t guarantee that she will be pottytrained:)

    Talk soon!

  6. Maryann
    July 21, 2008 /

    Hi Lindy!
    Don’t be so hard on yourself… if that were me… I probably would have started crying right at the party… Not that I have a child, but I work with 45 different ones, and let me tell you that changes in routine turns kids into little demons! Not to mention yesterday was THE hottest and most humid day of the summer yet.. I wanted to throw a tantrum!!!! Love you both.. don’t worry. Talk to you soon! I leave Wed.. so I will call you before then.

  7. July 21, 2008 /

    Chloe always seems to behave hurrendously around my mother, not sure what that’s all about but it’s very frustrating. The other thing is I think they all hit that terrible two’s for a bit. Good luck with the potty training. I have to have Chloe trained by next month for school and it hasn’t been so bad. You’re brave to take her out in those training pants!!

  8. Jo Beaufoix
    July 31, 2008 /

    Oh I re,e,ber this well. Everyone else has said it all and she’s doing great now, so I’ll just send a hug, ok? 😀