Ring! Ring!

Me: Hello?

Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: Who’s speaking?

Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: Who’s speaking?

Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: Who IS this?

Her: Is this Mrs Squidgyboo??

Me: Let me explain to you how this works,  you tell me who you are and I’ll tell you if you can speak to the person.

Her: I NEED to speak to the homeowner, is this Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: If you don’t tell me who you are I’m going to hang up. Do you understand?

Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo??

Me: OH. MY. GOD!! (hang up)

immediatly after hanging up…


Me: Hello?

Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: OK, I’m going to explain this to you ONE.MORE.TIME. Tell me who you are and THEN we’ll talk.

Her: I need to know that I’m speaking to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo the homeowners!  (insert pissy attitude here)

Me: There is NO Mrs Squidgyboo so tell me who you are.

Her: I might have the wrong number. (again with attitude)


Her: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo, the homeowners.

Me: Hang up! (my head explodes)

immediatly after hanging up…


Me: Hello?!??!!

Her2: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Squidgyboo?

Me: Who’s speaking?

Her2: Hangs up!

WTF people!!!  Am I just stupid??  Isn’t this how it works??  You call me and I ask who is speaking.  Once that is sorted I give the phone to the person you want to speak to.  Now the reason I was soooo persistent is that there is NO MRS SQUIDGYBOO!!   Wal and I aren’t married, remember?! Now I could have at any point told her that yes, I’m the  homeowner but really why should I when SHE WAS THE ONE CALLING ME!! Any valid, honest, upfront person calling us WOULD KNOW THIS!!  I just can’t believe they called back 3 times!! It was actually 4 times but the second time I picked up the phone and accidentally hung up on them before saying hello.  THEN to have someone else call me.  What, to check that I was in fact insisting they tell me who they were??  WTF!!!  Please please please explain to me proper telephone etiquette.  I must be doing something wrong because this was just painful!!


  1. September 12, 2008 /

    Ha ha! Nope even over here in the UK it is very normal to ask who is speaking before you give out your details…after all THEY called you! I can’t believe they wouldn’t say who they were…thats so funny!

  2. Suburban Mum
    September 12, 2008 /

    Do you know, I had FOUR calls like this last night. One was from the Ford dealership ringing to remind us about my MOT, and they refused to speak to me, even though the car is registered in MY name. They wanted to speak to SH. I was pissed off about that one!

    Another one called us twice, telling me that they needed to speak to SH about a charity he’d invested in (bullshit) (also, international).

    The last one was a bleedin’ sales call for financial services products (which they masquerade as “market research”). We’ve signed up to the Telephone Preference Service so we shouldn’t get any of these at all! Must have been National Phone Up and Piss People Off Evening.

  3. Sarah
    September 12, 2008 /

    Oh man, that was hilarious to read.

    I have a semi-regular American caller on my business line who always asks for my brother. They will never tell me who they are and hang up rather than leaving a message (so that now I just hang up when I hear it’s them). However one time I got into a very involved conversation with them, as they refused to give me their name or their number so that John could ring back. It ended up with me being transferred to someone else on another line and when I said “Hi, you were calling for John Marchant?” the guy said, “yes, this is John Marchant.” Err, I hate to disappoint you, but no, you’re not. I made sure to laugh at him and point out his large mistake before hanging up. I didn’t hear from them for months after that.

  4. Vic
    September 12, 2008 /

    Being a secretary and used to fielding all manner of unwanted calls, I get very inquisitive when I answer the phone. Before I’ll pass the phone over to the OH I’ll want to know precisely who’s calling and what they want. I think if I’d been suffering with that caller I’d have asked to speak to their superior and given them a piece of my mind!

  5. bubblewench
    September 12, 2008 /

    this is what you say: Piss off! and hang up. That’s how you do it.

    Hate those calls!!

  6. SCM
    September 12, 2008 /

    Tell them to hold on whle you go get Mr S. Then leave the phone off the hook and let them run up a bill.

  7. Wendy
    September 13, 2008 /

    blow a whistle into the phone the next time. they won’t call back again.

  8. Tia Lilliana
    September 13, 2008 /

    that is so funny Ilauged so much that if I had the family trade I would have peed in my pants kisses for squidgy

  9. Scar
    September 19, 2008 /

    Oh dear… I read this and thought someone had actually called thinking your surname was Squidgyboo. I thought perhaps it was an insane blog groupie who had somehow managed to get hold of your number. Ah, it’s Friday afternoon and my brain’s on hiatus.