I’ve found a house I love. Seriously, I love it and have been by to see it daily. It’s still in the general area I’m in now meaning Squidge will be attending a decent primary school. It’s a stones throw away from a large park w/ a duck pond and a large playground. It’s well within our budget (I’m still shocked by that). I’ve contacted the estate agent and I hope to view the property soon. I’m sad because I know I will not ever live in this house. I know this because I live with a man that will move when he damn well pleases. The problem with that is that I hate living in this house. I really really really hate it. I hate everything about it. Mostly I hate the smallness of it. I hate that EVERYTHING is always in the way. I should take some pictures and show you what my kitchen/dining room/utility room is like. Or maybe a couple of snaps of my living room/playroom/office. The entryway which doubles as a coat closet because really where else are we going to put all our coats and shoes. I suppose if I were a neater person this wouldn’t be a problem. If you’ve ever lived in a small house you know that you have to keep on top of things because it quickly becomes unmanageable. I suppose that is where I’m struggling. I’m not a neat freak and it’s ALWAYS unmanageable. I spend ALL.OF.MY.TIME in this house. I may leave for a couple of hours during the day to go to various playgroups/outings but a majority of my time is lived here. We don’t have an extra room where we can put all of Squidges things and when she goes to bed just close the door. As I look around the living room I’m staring at the mess she made from this mornings play session. I’ll spare you a description of the mess as I’m sure most of you can image it. The walls feel like they’re closing in on me. Damn this credit crunch. Damn this housing market correction! I want out of this house and I just know that I won’t be able to sell my house before the other one is sold. Now I know that whatever will be will be. I know that everything happens for a reason. Blah! Blah! Blah! I just want to stamp my feet, cross my arms and feel bad for myself. K? Thxs!
I should add that I am very aware of how lucky I am. I’ve had the fortune of being a SAHM and have enjoyed it. I know that I am one lucky Mom. I also know that a lot of people are struggling with paying mortgages, utility bills, taxes etc.. I don’t want people (I’m looking at you Wal) to think I am ungrateful. I’m just venting. I need to vent. It’s good to vent.
At least I’m not boring you all with the continuing driveway saga. I don’t have any fight left in me for that and can’t muster any energy to complain about it.
just to remind me to get over myself and to remember what’s important!