reaping what you sow

This afternoon I went to Borders.  As I was working my way to the children’s section I noticed a couple of women doing some face painting.  Of course Squidge made a bee-line for the table.  One of the women looked familiar and as I said hello she said something about the fact that I looked familiar to her.  We finally worked out that we knew each other from one of the toddler groups I used to attend.  Turns out she wrote a little book(let) about things to do in the Manchester/Northwest  area w/ toddlers.  I was initially really excited about buying the book.  I chatted with her a little bit as Squidge got her face painted then I went to the children section to read some books.  

As I was sitting there reading the books Squidge would bring me my mind wandered to the toddler group and the mums.  I looked at the inside of the book and there was a picture of the 3 women who put the book together.  It suddenly clicked and I remember that I stopped going because of some cliquey snobby women who made me feel uncomfortable and unwanted and there they were in the book.  I was really torn.  I really would love the book but didn’t want to support these women that wouldn’t talk to me.  I just remember them as being really into themselves and not really engaging w/ anyone else.  They would stand in front of the tea table chatting away and you would have to shimmy around them just to grab a cup of tea.  Now I’m not saying that I want/need every mum at a toddler group to great me with open arms.  These women just made me feel like shit and here they were being super friendly.  Amazing how your attitude can change when you have something to hawk.  In the end I left the book behind.  Screw em!  You reap what you sow and if they had been even the teeniest bit nice/friendly I would have been more than happy to support them.  

I’m pissed off that they wrote the book because I can’t justify buying it even though I would have loved to have that type of reference material at my finger tips.  I might just put together a little list of my own and print it out.  I flipped through the book and most of the places they listed were places I had been to or heard of so it would just be a case of organizing it.  

The moral of the story is always be nice to people…



  1. February 15, 2009 /

    great post…..but where are pics of the painted face????? what did she get painted on her face? I gots to know!

  2. February 15, 2009 /

    We had a couple of those kind of moms in our group, but they have dissapeared over time. Those left are a super lot and we have gatherings and parties on a regular basis.

  3. February 15, 2009 /

    Oh yes I wouldn’t have bought the book either!! Now I’m curious if I know them and which book it is…..

  4. maria
    February 15, 2009 /

    OOH GOD!! i so hear you about that whole ‘scene’.. I still go and just avoid the snobs.I am not ‘big time’ enough to have my own clique.. but I just avoid them and just hang out with C or with the non cool ladies.. I woild have been inclined to say something or do something obvious about their fake attitude of being nicey nicey now,,may make them think,,, but you are so creative and have more resources than we do so you don’t ‘need’ them anyway.. great idea about the pamphlet

  5. SCM
    February 15, 2009 /

    I’d have wanted to tell them why I wasn’t going to buy their book.

  6. Lindy
    February 15, 2009 /

    I didn’t realize who they were until afterwards- if I had remembered I probably wouldn’t have been so nice to them.

  7. Vic
    February 15, 2009 /

    I know exactly who you mean. I remember them asking about ideas about where to go. Bet I didn’t get a mention…. whats the name of the book?

    I must admit, until I had J they were quite nice to me, if a little cliquey. It was always a real effort to get a conversation going. I do bump into Jo at nursery (skinny, blonde)

  8. guilty noodles
    February 17, 2009 /

    I was kicked out of a playgroup. It was pretty damn funny to me. They were really cliquey and I was the only one on my second child, so everything I said was horrifying to them. They couldn’t handle the idea that my son was allowed gluten or sugar. One of the parents accidentally placed me on the email list for their “usual” Wednesday afternoon get together after months of not hearing from them.

    You can’t be friends with everyone.

  9. Rachel
    February 17, 2009 /

    Ug! Cliques during grade school were annoying, cliques amongst adults are just pathetic. I definitely wouldn’t have supported their efforts.