Blogging Blues

Do you ever have those days when you just don’t feel like doing much of anything?  I’ve been lurking around reading blogs, backing up my photos and doing things with Squidge.  I haven’t even attempted a post.  I can’t remember why I am blogging.  Who the hell cares that I went to the cemetery w/ Squidge- blech! I hate this feeling.  I have so much to do and I just chip away at it. I’m questioning my photography, wondering why I’m even bothering.  I didn’t even sign up for photography club this term.  What the hells the point!  I need to snap out of it!  I think it all started when I read a flickr discussion where a woman who has paying clients doesn’t even know how to use her camera! Aperature, depth of field, shutter speed- nothing she doesn’t know how it works and people are PAYING HER.  Are you kidding me?!?!  Grrr will get over this little pitty party I’m in the middle of soon I’m sure. 

On to other news.  Wal come home Saturday night and flew out 5am Tuesday morning.  He’s been busting his ass trying to get a huge order in Turkey.  Tender submitted and everything looked good.  They received news that they had won the tender and the purchasing manager just needed to sign it. A week goes by and nothing happens.  He hears someone else came back with a lower offer so they counter offer.  In the end they lost out to the other company.  A company that doesn’t even have a product to sell!!  I’m beyond pissed off as it’s been so so many weeks spent in Turkey working w/ them and doing trials on trucks and documentation and just all the leg work that goes into it.  The fact that they didn’t lose fairly just makes me angry- the only way this company could have won was with bribes and kickbacks.  How can you award the contract to a company that doesn’t have a product to sell? How are they going to develop, manufacture and deliver something w/ a 2 month lead time??  Anyhoo I probably have some of my facts mixed up but the main gist is no big contract and lot’s of wasted time.

On the dieting/walk/run front it is not going well.  I haven’t run/walked in over a month- just haven’t been able to while Wal  has been out of the country.  I thought about leaving Squidge sleeping in bed and going out for 30 minutes but what if something happened? House burns down.  I get hit by a car. An airplane crashes through our house. A gas leak.  I know some of those are far fetched but I just haven’t  been able to do it.  I’ve been trying to walk more but it’s  been raining for weeks here.  I am getting more and more used to walking in downpores but it isn’t fair to Squidge to keep her cooped up in a pushchair.  I know that last one is an excuse. I could do more I should do more. I will do more. *sigh*

I’ve gone on a reduced gluten diet.  I’ve basically given up bread and pasta- I have a list and it is so much more than just pasta/bread but I’m not going to list it all here.  Let me tell you that is sooo hard. I usually have 2 slices of toast for breakfast and pasta a couple of times a week. No more!  I’ve been struggling w/ what to have for breakfast. I’m eating oatmeal which is a gluten item but it’s one of those that is borderline w/ docs.  I’ve also started to meal plan. We are going to eat 2 fish dishes a week with the hope that it will be increased to 4 soon.  I’m making steamed red snapper on Friday and am really looking forward to that.  I made salmon w/ cannolinni bean mash on Monday- it was alright.  I hate cooking salmon at home it just makes the house soo greasy- salmon is such an oily fish. 

I’ll end this downer of a post w/ some photos- Enjoy!

 

 

pottery es-2

pottery es

wrinkles

bath es

While at the park the other day the skies just opened up and it rained buckets for about 20 minutes.  Squidge and I ran and took shelter under a massive tree.  I spotted this couple, they just continued on with their picnic.  It is the typical British attitude about rain- just keep on truckin cos it ain’t gonna stop raining!  Unfortunately I waited a smidge too long to take the picture

english picnic

8 Comments

  1. SCM
    May 21, 2009 /

    I think most people I know have periods like this when they can’t be mithered to do stuff. Just have to keep chugging along.
    That woman sounds unbelievable!
    Sorry to hear about Wal. Must be awful to be putting all that effort in, home life affected, etc and then to lose out in dubious circs.
    Good luck with the reduced gluten. Should be ok in a few days when you get over the cravings.
    Great pics as ever.

  2. May 21, 2009 /

    OMG I can’t believe Wal lost out…that is so crap!!! What a waste of all those trips….
    Hope you feeling better soon…I’d try to cheer you up but I’m going to be more than miserable tomorrow unless this stoooopid bump pops out over night in which case come round and celebrate!!!!

  3. Vic
    May 21, 2009 /

    Sorry to hear about the deal. I’m trying to look into ths positively as I think, despite the money, you are both rid of the idiots. If they can go back on a deal, they can go back on payment. It sucks now but you will feel better.

    Don’t leave Squidge while you go out. I think there are too many “what ifs” especially as she grows older and older. How about being really strict with yourself and walking EVERYWHERE for a week, or using the bus? That might be a good start?

    Good luck with the gluten thing! You are a braver girl than me! Fish is a good start as well, even though the idea of a salmon dinner makes me want to cut my own tongue out! (he he!) I can recommend a good cal counting website that has got me back on the straight and narrow!

    Don’t give up the photography. You are so good at it. I think you can make a good career for yourself. Keep up with the advertising and things will come. Don’t give up photography club. It will be great for you (although I hope you don’t end up on bloody tea duty too much!)

    I love the picnic photo. I know you’ve had a car picnic (do you remember, the airport!) so at least thats another british tradition done! 😉

    Go to the zoo. It will be fab and not too busy before the crowds at half term and summer hols 🙂

    Love the Squidge photos. She is looking blonder by the day!! 🙂

    Chin up.
    Vic x

  4. maria
    May 22, 2009 /

    I so know what you mean.. Sorry again about Wal.. Hope it isn’t causing too much tension at home. S is getting SSO big.. Lovely pics and just do it..show up.. blog about whatever and get in as little or as much on the walking as you can.. I wish I had your will power to eat better. I know what I have to do..but again .. can I?? will I?? I have to get my act together as well.It seems I am always ‘starting over’ … Thanks for the motivation.. 🙂

  5. May 22, 2009 /

    I know why you are feeling down and irritated. You’ve cut the carbs from your diet. I have done it a couple of times before and it actually effects you quite badly.

  6. ally
    May 22, 2009 /

    Oh no, don’t give up what you love. You’re very talented and this stuff always takes time. I suggest donating sessions to the local school fundraisers and get into the mommy circuit. Once word spreads, you’ll hit the jackpot. I wished you lived closer, I would totally hook you up!

    I used to not eat carbs and I was miserable. The only thing I’d allow was brown rice or brown rice cakes with peanut butter. I don’t look as trim anymore, but I’m really enjoying pasta, white bread and pizza. Sorry, I didn’t mean to rub it in.

    And thanks for my Squidge fix.

  7. May 23, 2009 /

    Don’t give it up… I’ve been doubting my photog things too lately.

  8. habitual
    May 25, 2009 /

    Oh man, I know what you mean. I’m in a funk as well. I don’t know why we go through these things, other than it’s just a cycle. Take a little time to regroup, that’s what I am doing. It’s just the anxiety around the state of things in the world- it’s starting to wear on people. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway…..spring is here and new beginnings are in order!

    xo