Angry Fat Chick

It’s what I feel like a lot of days. I have been getting some lovely comments from people I haven’t seen in a while. I do love the comments and it almost makes it worth all the hard work. What I can’t get out of my head and sometimes I wonder if people realize it that it’s bloody hard work trying to lose weight. At least for me it’s hard work. I love food. I love looking at food. I like cooking food. I love smelling and touching and tasting food. No surprise then that I have issues with my weight. I’m learning new cooking and baking techniques which is helping. What I am having a more difficult time with is changing habits. Food is everywhere. The opportunity to eat food is all around. I just popped into my high street for some veg (0 pro points FTW) and walked past a chip shop, a Lebanese restaurant, pizza express, 2 pubs serving lunch, a sandwich shops and this was just a little corner of my high street! Pop into supermarket convenience shops that appear to be sprouting everywhere and it’s hell. Pastries, cakes, cookies, chocolate bars, crisps, ready meals… everywhere you look you’re confronted with all these things you could eat. It’s basically turning me into an angry fat chick! How do you stop yourself from picking up a snack here and a candy bar there. The willpower it takes to walk away when all you want to do it pick up that yummy looking cinnamon roll- it would be sooo yummy with a cup of coffee! I try not to look at the danger areas but that is physically impossible at my local Tesco Ex. Really it is, I tried to not look and I basically had to look at my feet. Not good people. Not good at all! I’m really struggling and find that after an entire day of resisting in the end I give in and undo all my hard work.

I must keep telling myself that this is not a race. That I want to be thin more than I want that cupcake with the frosting piled a mile high. Christmas is killing me. I have learned that if it’s not in the house I’m good so I just don’t buy it. Squidge has been given chocolate on an almost daily basis. Yesterday it was a pack of chocolate starts and a mini caramelo. I resisted the stars but sadly that caramelo didn’t stand a chance!! STOP GIVING MY CHILD CHOCOLATE!!

Do you know what the scary bit is? I probably resist 90% of the time. This time last year? If I wanted it I wouldn’t even think about it. 22 lbs later and I’ve worked too damn hard to undo all of it. It doesn’t make it easy though and I’m an angry fat chick to prove it. How do you folks deal with the temptation? Can you buy it and not eat it? What are some tips for resisting during the holiday season?

8 Comments

  1. Andrea Scoville
    December 13, 2011 /

    I wish I had some great advice to give you but I am really just here to say that I am with you angry fat chick!!! I think we only have sooo much resistance in us… and if we use it all day trying not to eat the horrifying amounts of food surrounding us (not to mention the temptation to not buy every Christmas present out there)… then we have none left to keep us from being angry. So storm on chick! Whatever it takes to get you through this hard hard month!

    • Lindy
      December 17, 2011 /

      I think sometimes just “talking” about it helps. Looking forward to the “eating” season being over.

  2. kelloggsville
    December 13, 2011 /

    no I can’t resist it if it’s in the house. If I don’t buy it it’s fine but hubby comes home with a box of chocolate for himself and just leaves it lying around. He can have one and walks away then I eat the rest of the box. I tell him not to buy it but he does it again and again….arrrrgh

    The out and about cake, snack thing habit I broke many years ago buy carrying packets of raisins with me, If my body yelled ‘sweet treat now’ I gave it a raisin! Now I’m over it, habit was broken but this chocolate thing at home is like watching a woman possessed.

    • Lindy
      December 17, 2011 /

      Glad to know I’m not the only one struggling w/ temptation in the house. OH can live w/ a box of after eight’s in the house for weeks and weeks. If I know I have some that legally belongs to me I have to seek them out! I used to put them in the garage but that didn’t stop me one single bit!! So now they’re banned!

  3. theramblingpages
    December 14, 2011 /

    Came across your blog via QWERTY mum’s – I am doing the opposite to you it seems, while you are losing weight and it sounds like you are doing really well, I am piling it on as I can’t control my eating. I have always been very fortunate and never had to worry about my weight, but then I use to eat healthy foods, not snack and not crave stuff. These days, I only want to eat rubbish and stodge, I eat when i feel miserable, fell more miserable as I have stuffed my face and so eat some more. I can’t resist a thing no matter what I tell myself. Today I have been to Holland and Barrett and bought myself a Bach remedy Emotional Eating Kit – google it, it is meant to help and I am willing to give it a go. I desperately want to break this stupid frame of mind I have myself in and if that helps, great! Let me know if you try it as well!

    • Lindy
      December 17, 2011 /

      It took me years to get a handle on my eating and I’m still haven’t sussed it out! I never really dieted either and I think that is hard to figure out how to do without especially when you love food. Good luck and I know you’ll figure it out soon.

  4. Mancais
    December 14, 2011 /

    I struggle with chocolate in the house unless I put it in the fridge. Wotsits and Quavers (multipack so less PP) live in a cupboard I don’t use often so I don’t see them. Only usually have a pack following WI on a Monday evening.
    When we go to the football I take peeled carrots and fruit so that I don’t pick the sweets TLP and BB1 eat.
    Due to visit work on Thursday for the Xmas party – I’m down for taking the salad this year. In years gone by I always took crisps, nuts and other nibbles. Going to be hard not to pick at the yummy bits but at least I’m not in there to graze all day. Having said that, I’ll be meeting up with most of them later to visit some of the markets in Manchester (code for not actually making it and ending up in the pub).

    I love food.

  5. Lindy
    December 17, 2011 /

    If I know it’s in the house I can’t not eat it! It’s sad but true. OH wanted to buy some crusty farmhouse white bread and I wouldn’t let him. I love bread and I knew I’d eat most of it. He can have a couple of slices for breakfast and not think of it again. Me? I reach for the loaf every time I’m in the kitchen! Good luck at he xmas party!