In late November 2010 after 4 1/2 years of allowing Wal’s parents to ignore our child I put my foot down and demanded that Wal take her to see them. They would either slam the door in his (and her) face or they would open it. I was hoping for the first but not expecting it. The first meeting was tense (according to Wal) but over the past 12 months Wal and Squidge have visited them regularly. They’ve given her love, attention and some pretty naff presents. I’ve said a little prayer of thanks that my daughter now has a relationship with her grandparents. The relationship with me continues to be non existant but I’m OK with this.
This Christmas I thought of them alone in their house and us here in ours. I thought of my Christmasses growing up surrounded by family and tried not to be sad that Squidge would never experience that. I also thought that I needed to stop holding a grudge, be the bigger person and invite them over. So what if it was a little uncomfortable for me. They’d come have Christmas dinner and leave. I would fullfil my moral obligation and a little melting of hearts might occur. The invite went out and was accepted.
On Christmas morning we woke up, opened our presents, went to church and then started cooking dinner. I was a little nervous but kept thinking it was all going to be good. I don’t think I could have in my wildest expectations guessed how good it would have been.
Wal’s parents arrived and acted like they had not just spent the last 6 years pretending i didn’t exist. She was friendly and chatty and you could have knocked me over with a feather! Dinner was pleasant. Pudding was served in the livingroom while watching the Queen’s speech. Copious amounts of tea was served. More pudding was eaten along with more tea. It was ages before they left and they invited themselves back.
A flipping Christmas miracle. I still hate them for treating me so badly but as the only family I have here I’m glad I didn’t let the hatred and anger consume me. I just think of them as sad old people who missed seeing their only grandchild grow into the fabulous little girl she is. I’m hoping for more family dinners and the growing of a relationship between us all.
Hope Christmas was all that you hoped for and much much more.