Aging

The other day I was asked how old I was. I paused and then laughed saying that I couldn’t remember before finally stumbling at saying I was 42.  I paused because I didn’t want to say. I paused because I feel like I can’t be 42 when I still feel like I’m not even 30!

Years ago I remember sitting at a bar talking to a friend and the conversation went something like life is over at 21- mean what are the age milestone after that? Retirement?  I have vivid  memories of things I couldn’t do because I wasn’t old enough- rides at fair grounds, entering my mom’s factory- no one under 12, driving at 16, voting at 18 and legal drinking at 21 and then?  I remember my late teens to mid 20’s mainly consisiting of me working my way through college/university.  My early 30’s was me ending a marriage and going out on my own and eventually landing here in the UK. My mid 30’s was the great unknown and unexpected world of motherhood and starting a new life in a foreign country. So I can look back and see all the experiences that have led me here and yet… yet 42! Well by now I’m 43 as I celebrated my birthday a couple of days after that conversation.

I suppose it’s time I accept my age- 40 is the new 30 isn’t it? But still, I see my skin changing, I have few grey hairs and each year I grow older. I don’t really like that bit of it. I want to be happy in my skin. I want to get to the point where I’m not a mass of insecurities.  Tell me when does that happen? When do you stop feeling like the 16 yr old self filled with self doubt?

As you can tell I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I have decided this will be the year I embrace this new chapter in my life- middle age. I’m going to embrace it and excite in it and push myself to try things I’m been too afraid to do. After all time isn’t on my side- I’ve probably already lived half my life.

So tell me am I the only one

Besides I don’t look to shabby for an old bird eer bunny..

Blog Summit Bunny

6 Comments

  1. May 19, 2013 /

    You’re JOKING!! No way are you 42! Christ, I thought you were ages with me, maybe 33-4 at the most!
    I think once we get to a certain point, we don’t really age anymore in who we are, as we’ve become comfortable in ourselves, you know? I feel like I’m at that point now, and I’m 29. Pretty sure if you put the two of us next to each other most would probably think I was the older one.
    I’m not jealous at all. *cough* 😉

    • Lindy
      May 27, 2013 /

      lol Marylin- I WISH!!!

    • Dee
      May 28, 2013 /

      Hi there – I am so very new to this site but caught your comments re: losing friends. I read this with great empathy as I am quite a black and white person myself!! I have a tendency to say the RIGHT things but the WRONG way and I am 69!!! lol! you sound very similar to myself as I have only ever had two great friends and one of them passed with the dreaded C…

      I feel that your “so-called” friendship with this person has broken up out of her own inadequate confidence. Surely, if you were friends she could have said that you were stronging it a bit and put a lid on it now and again.

      I sincerely hope that she does not stop her daughter being Squidy’s friend and that would be churlish indeed and wish you the best of luck in your endeavours to keep a lid on it! as that is the best way, take a step backwards and leave her be for a while.

      Take care and be safe.

      Dee

  2. Becky
    May 19, 2013 /

    I’m not just saying this to be polite but you do not look 42. I would have put you around 35!
    I think we all always feel 16, mentally we still want to be young and having fun! Looking forward to seeing what exciting things you get up to 🙂
    Ps. New blog styling looks fab!

  3. May 20, 2013 /

    Love the new look and I have to say you do not look over 40 at all. You are only as old as you feel on the inside I think!

  4. May 27, 2013 /

    I refuse to believe you’re 42 – you don’t look a day over 25! Great pic by the way. Love the ears!