What do you do?

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This weekend Squidge and her dad we chatting, about this and that. About nothing in particular really but then she said something that broke our hearts.  I know I sound melodramatic but really I am so very sad.

She mentioned to him that sometimes she makes up words to songs. They had a little laugh as they both made up silly words to songs they know.  She then said she does this at school during playtime when she’s by herself and doesn’t have anyone to play with.  Dad asked her if she did this a lot and she said yes.

THUMP!

Right in the chest.

Trying to be cool and not make a big deal out of it because at the end of the day it’s not a big deal. But but but he wanted to know why his chatty, friends with everyone daughter was spending time alone and amusing herself by making up songs and not playing with her friends during the time of the school day when she should be out there playing and having fun.

I mean I know she’s not as friendly with some of the girls she used to be with- they haven’t fallen out they just have different interests.  So I guess I’m hoping this was a one off thing but I suspect it’s not as she’s dropped hints about this before.  About how she sometimes spends play time reading alone instead of playing with her friends. Sometimes she says it’s because so and so says mean things and she just prefers her own company to those of someone she thinks is being mean. I  get that- why spend time with someone you find unpleasant. What I don’t want is for her to be isolated. She’s an only child so if she’s not getting social stimulation at school then that’s bad!

 

Ugh it’s made me soo sad! Obviously I think Squidge is fab and thinking of her playing by herself just kills me! When she’s home she’s done with friends/kids as there aren’t any on our road, no sibs or cousins to play with like I did when I was her age. ugh I’m going to scar her for life aren’t it I?!?!?!

 

What do you guys thinks? Am I being silly for worrying? Should I speak to her teacher?

 

I’m going to probe a bit further tonight but any advice would be nice.

 

sign off

Comments

  1. says

    We had exactly the same issue with Flea a year or so back when suddenly the boys she’d always played with no longer wanted to play with girls, and at the same time some of the girls with (shall we say) stronger personalities in her class were dominating the playground and playing games that Flea wasn’t keen on – so she played a lot on her own.

    She didn’t mind – as she told me, “I just play by myself and use my imagination, and I like one-player games” but I felt exactly like you do now.

    What I did was step up sleepovers so Flea could make new friends, and having two best friends rather than one has given her a bit more flexibility. If “Z” is playing with the girlie girls, Flea can play with T instead.

    I did also go in and see the teacher, who talked to the class as a whole about not leaving people out, and how it really was only fair that all the kids should take turns in choosing what game everyone played.

    Fingers crossed, it seems to work and these days if I casually ask, “Oh, who did you play with today?” she’ll always tell me at least a couple of kids she played with.
    Sally´s last blog post ..Sometimes, it’s just hard.

  2. says

    Cog went through a spate at primary when she was ousted by the cool girls but hadn’t made new friends. She took a skipping rope to school and skipped alone. I just asked her about how it resolved. She said in the end some girls wanted to start skipping with her and new groups were formed. She also said I spoke to the teacher about it. I’m in two minds about it. It builds independence. When she moves schools she’ll make new friendship groups and because of this experience she will find it easier. But, you are right mixing with other kids is important too. Is she still at brownies? That will help. The playground problem will pass. A few wet lunches and the playground habits will break or get her doing something like skipping. Encourage after school club or lunchtime club participation too to help her form new friendships but mainly, don’t worry too much, this all changes again when they move onto high school xxx
    Kelloggsville´s last blog post ..Donna Nook

    • says

      Ooh, yes – I never worried too much because Flea had cubs and swimming club and Stagecoach, which gave her places to have friends who she had things in common with, even if sometimes that didn’t happen at school – Squidge is the same, with all her activities, so there may be times she’ll have friends there more than at school, and she’s unlikely to be lonely. And as Kelloggsville says, it all changes quickly enough with the weather or a new game or toy, or something of that nature.
      Sally´s last blog post ..Sometimes, it’s just hard.

    • says

      Thanks for the reminder that this too shall pass! You’re both right- she does have a lot of extra curricular activities and plenty of opportunities to mix/play with other kids. I shall chill!