I’m single parenting this week. Simon is in Florence this week so it’s just me and the kid. At first I was dreading it but today has been lovely. I dropped her off at school then came home and worked. I then bundled up (totally didn’t need to so looked like a loon) grabbed the dog and walked to school to pick her up. We had a lovely chat on the walk home. Then it was piano, verbal reasoning, putting laundry away and chatting about everything and nothing. She spent about an hour on her iPod while I got dinner ready and then it was time for bed.
It was a thoroughly ordinary day but one that doesn’t happen very often anymore with my working. I enjoyed just being there for her and I realised that I missed spending ordinary time with her. Sounds a bit odd but with work I am usually distracted and everything is so rushed that it can feel like all I do is tell her to hurry up finish this start that do this, it’s tiresome for everyone involved.
A couple of weeks ago a young mum I know died after a quick battle with cancer, from diagnosis to dead in 3 months! It’s really hit me hard. She wasn’t a close friend, hell I don’t even know if I can call her a friend. I spent an hour twice a month with her getting my nails done. But we would chat and she was a lovely lovely person. I keep thinking of the holidays I haven’t taken and the chats I haven’t had with squidge and all the things I’m not doing. I could be dead tomorrow and what would I have to show for it?
I know that sounds melodramatic but it’s how I’m feeling at the moment. Lots of changes going on right now with school exam prep and deciding where she’s going to go to school next year and leaving all her friends. We’re all under a lot of pressure and I think of all the pressure those little shoulders are bearing.
Then I think of the misogyny in play that would cause a racist, bigot, xenophobe, misogynist wind bag with no experience, no ideas and even less ability to become president of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I’ve been raging against it all week and have been explaining to Squidge that sexism and misogyny is a real thing and that she needs to be 10 times better than the boy next to her and even then it still isn’t enough! Great lesson to learn at 10 isn’t it?
The world just appears to be going to hell in a hand basket and I just want to gather in my pod and spend time with those that I love. I want to be the one to teach my kid what’s right and what’s wrong. That bullies might win a battle but they won’t win the war. That girls are awesome and although some people think they’re less than the boys we know the truth and we won’t allow the bullies to win.