On death, tweens and the state of the nation


I’m single parenting this week.  Simon is in Florence this week so it’s just me and the kid.  At first I was dreading it but today has been lovely.  I dropped her off at school then came home and worked.  I then bundled up (totally didn’t need to so looked like a loon) grabbed the dog and walked to school to pick her up.  We had a lovely chat on the walk home.   Then it was piano, verbal reasoning, putting laundry away and chatting about everything and nothing.  She spent about an hour on her iPod while I got dinner ready and then it was time for bed. 

It was a thoroughly ordinary day but one that doesn’t happen very often anymore with my working.  I enjoyed just being there for her and I realised that I missed spending ordinary time with her.  Sounds a bit odd but with work I am usually distracted and everything is so rushed that it can feel like all I do is tell her to hurry up finish this start that do this, it’s tiresome for everyone involved.

A couple of weeks ago a young mum I know died after a quick battle with cancer, from diagnosis to dead in 3 months! It’s really hit me hard. She wasn’t a close friend, hell I don’t even know if I can call her a friend.  I spent an hour twice a month with her getting my nails done.  But we would chat and she was a lovely lovely person.  I keep thinking of the holidays I haven’t taken and the chats I haven’t had with squidge and all the things I’m not doing. I could be dead tomorrow and what would I have to show for it? 

I know that sounds melodramatic but it’s how I’m feeling at the moment.  Lots of changes going on right now with school exam prep and deciding where she’s going to go to school next year and leaving all her friends.  We’re all under a lot of pressure and I think of all the pressure those little shoulders are bearing.


Then I think of the misogyny in play that would cause a racist, bigot, xenophobe, misogynist wind bag with no experience, no ideas and even less ability to become president of one of the most powerful countries in the world.  I’ve been raging against it all week and have been explaining to Squidge that sexism and misogyny is a real thing and that she needs to be 10 times better than the boy next to her and even then it still isn’t enough! Great lesson to learn at 10 isn’t it?


The world just appears to be going to hell in a hand basket and I just want to gather in my pod and spend time with those that I love.  I want to be the one to teach my kid what’s right and what’s wrong. That bullies might win a battle but they won’t win the war.  That girls are awesome and although some people think they’re less than the boys we know  the truth and we won’t allow the bullies to win.



  1. November 18, 2016 /

    Oh my, what a week it has been. It is so important to have these, sometime enforced times, to pay extra attention to what’s happening close to home. Mr TB is away often and I think I learn a lot more about myself and my girls in that time. It’s all good. What is happening in the world outside that…bah, I just don’t know!! x
    Claire at Tin Box Traveller recently posted…Weekend in Wales: a Swansea Bay family adventureMy Profile

  2. November 18, 2016 /

    Goodness what a week it was. It is important to know what’s going on in the outside world and try to allow our children to understand too. It does seem like a crazy place just now. And we can all wish it had went the other way, hoped, but time will tell. Let’s hope things improve. Hugs xx
    Susan Mann recently posted…The Woodland Trust – Going On A Woodland AdventureMy Profile

  3. November 19, 2016 /

    What a good move to allow your kid to know the events in America today,nothings wrong with that!
    Erik Brenner recently posted…mizar5.comMy Profile

  4. November 19, 2016 /

    I think you need to concentrate on those little normal things which make up your bigger picture. Death has a funny of bringing things into pin sharp focus doesn’t it x x x
    Colette recently posted…Siblings – November 2016My Profile

  5. November 21, 2016 /

    Oh gosh, that poor mum. Makes you hug your own a little tighter when you hear something like that – even if they have spent the previous hour painting squishing play doh in to the carpet, because it’s like, you know, fun.

    My 12 year old is very confused by the Trump election, though isn’t disheartened because a lady still got to try and that doesn’t seem weird to her. Silver linings and all that.
    Joanne Brady recently posted…York Boat, York, North YorkshireMy Profile

  6. December 13, 2016 /

    Oh lovely the world does feel horrible scary and sad at times like this doesn’t it and we want to just be with out loved aones and make it all right. I’m with you sister. Sometimes things have to get so bad we are all shocked awake and take some action right? x
    Becky recently posted…Cranberry and Feta Appetizers in Lidl’s new hot air fryerMy Profile